WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the midterm elections now over and the nation's capital preparing for the incoming Democratic control of the legislative branch, Republicans announced a new plan to do exactly the same thing and expect different results.
After suffering major electoral losses across the country that swept the party out of power in both the House of Representatives and the Senate, the GOP made the shrewd decision to keep its leadership largely intact, choosing to stay the course and expect everything to turn out completely different.
"If it's broke, why fix it?" said one Republican Senator after voting for John Thune to stay in charge as Senate Minority Leader. "On Election Day, the voters sent us a strong and clear message, which is why we've decided to just keep doing the exact same stuff we did that led to our crushing defeat. We're confident that we're on the right track. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is a completely sane thing to do."
Thune said he was encouraged by the faith his party had shown in him to keep failing. "It means a lot to know they have my back," he told reporters. "I put a lot of work into not accomplishing anything of value as leader of the party, so it's a great feeling to know that it's paying off. I look forward to doing even more nothing as we move into the future."
At publishing time, voters had announced plans to preemptively not vote for Republicans in 2028.
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