Republican Plans Once Again Foiled By Republicans
Politics · Feb 7, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republicans managed to once again foil the plans of Republicans to accomplish anything whatsoever in Congress.

Though the Republican party still holds a narrow majority in the House of Representatives, it has struggled to make progress on several aspects of its agenda due to the interference and obstacles placed in its way by the Republican party.

"We really stopped us in our tracks this time," said Speaker of the House Mike Johnson. "We have plans to accomplish some big things to help the American people and fix some of the glaring problems facing our nation, but we keep facing strong opposition from us at every turn. If we can't find a way to overcome us, we'll continue to keep us from getting things done. We've become a real problem for us."

The GOP's latest embarrassing setbacks included failing to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas despite the ongoing migrant crisis at the southern border and a lopsided failure to pass Speaker Johnson's Israel aid package. Republican lawmakers placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of Republican lawmakers. "It's those darn Republicans blocking everything we do," said Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz. "The Republicans would get a lot more accomplished if it weren't for the Republicans."

At publishing time, Republicans were making a renewed effort to emphasize the importance of voters electing Republicans to help the Republican party deal with the opposition of the Republican party.


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