PALM BEACH. FL — In a surprise move, former President Donald Trump endorsed Bud Light as the "Official Beer Of MAGA" and announced trans icon Dylan Mulvany as his running mate in the 2024 election.
"Dylan Mulvaney is the greatest woman, the most fantastic woman, anyone who doesn't think so is a total RINO," said Trump at the announcement. "When you think of making America great, you think of baseball, Donald Trump, drinking Bud Light, and Dylan Mulvaney. We're going to take America back, believe me."
The controversial pick was met with immediate applause from the crowd at Trump's rally, who praised Bud Light's incredible taste and the radiant femininity of Dylan Mulvaney.
"Woo! I love Bud Light and trans women!! MAGA forever!" shouted Trump supporter Dale Miller. "No one knows how to bring back the soul of America like Trump. Hey Dylan! Hold my legs up so I can do a Bud Light keg stand!"
As of publishing time, Dylan Mulvany had graciously accepted Trump's invitation to join him on the GOP ticket and was working to unite Trump's base around the former president's new campaign slogan "Make America Gay Again".
World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.