LONDON - Historians now believe that King George III "instantly and severely" regretted not implementing red flag laws on the deranged American colonists.

"Blast it all, why didn't I think of that?" the king had said to a friend later on, according to new sources. "We could have just said guys like that ungrateful George Washington and that Jefferson fellow were mentally unstable and grabbed all their guns."

While the British did try to implement some gun control leading up to the American Revolution, it was too little, too late. According to scholars, a well-timed red flag law could have prevented the whole thing, all under the pretense of trying to stop gun violence.

"I could have looked compassionate and tough on crime," George had confided in some guards in his castle or palace or wherever a British king guy lives. "But instead, I lost the colonies. Ungrateful savages! By Jove! Someone bring me some tea."