WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources in the White House, President Trump has been looking for a way to serve as president indefinitely since he first took office. He's tried everything: miracle pills he ordered off Infowars, constitutional loopholes, seeking out the Holy Grail. But nothing worked.
Trump heard rumors of a legendary code that could grant people infinite lives, ammo, and invulnerability. He began to do research in ancient mythical tomes, dusty, old Nintendo Power magazines he found in the White House basement from George H.W. Bush's term, and Wikipedia. Finally, he found the full text of the fabled code. Lifting his iPhone on high and uttering a prayer to the Konami gods, Trump carefully entered the cheat.
"Let's see... up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start... there!" he said. "Great code, maybe the best."
At first, nothing happened. Then, his normally orange skin began to glow a glorious, brilliant white as he was infused with the power of infinite White House terms.
At publishing time, Trump had purchased a GameShark to help him circumvent the constitutional restrictions on the executive branch.
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