Progressives Officially Redefine 'Hate Speech' As 'Speech We Do Not Like'

U.S.—A coalition of groups and organizations has come together to officially redefine hate speech as "speech we don't like."

The coalition included several dictionaries, the SPLC, the majority of colleges and universities in the nation, several Big Tech companies like Google, Apple, Facebook, and Twitter, and the Democratic Party. Representatives from each of these groups came together at Harvard University to vote on and ratify the proposal officially changing the definition of "hate speech" to "speech we don't like."

"A lot of people are getting the wrong idea about hate speech," a representative from Instagram said. "They believe hate speech actually has to be hateful to qualify. So I think we need to clarify terms here. For instance, we just deleted a post that a lot of progressives did not like. It wasn't hateful or anything, but they did not like it."

The Instagram rep then displayed this slide of the post they had deleted:

"See, we said it was hate speech, but this confused people because it wasn't actually hateful. So I move that we immediately change the definition of hate speech to 'speech you do not like.'"

After the motion passed, dictionaries quickly updated their definitions to read:

  • Hate speech - (noun) - speech you do not like or speech that offends you in any way // That guy said he disagrees with me. What awful hate speech!

At publishing time, the coalition had clarified that this definition does not apply to conservatives.

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