Priest Reveals 12 Weirdest Sins People Have Confessed
Church · May 7, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

The seal of confession officially prohibits priests from disclosing what they learn while hearing a confession, but according to an ancient church rule, if you guess correctly they have to tell you.

Using that ancient rule, we tricked a priest into telling us the weirdest sins people have confessed to him:

  1. "I watch YouTube videos all the time but I never 'like' or 'subscribe.'"
  2. "I never once used my air fryer even though I told my husband I'd use it all the time."
  3. "I once murdered two people and totally got away with it and then had the gall to write a book titled If I Did It."
  4. "I kissed my sister, but I didn't know she was my sister at the time though, I thought she was a hot space princess."
  5. "I invented Labradoodles."
  6. "I once published an account or description of an NFL game without express written consent."
  7. "I ran the water in a public restroom sink to pretend I was washing my hands."
  8. "I lied about my uncle crashing on an island and being eaten by cannibals."
  9. "I say I'm a big Lord of the Rings fan even though I've only ever watched the movies and never read the books."
  10. "Sometimes I roll myself up like a burrito and pretend to be a sandworm."
  11. "I said ‘hola!' to a dark-skinned man who turned out to be Indian."
  12. "I nailed the 95 Theses to a church door eventually leading to Steven Furtick being a pastor."

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