LEEBOLD, AL—The Southern Baptist Convention has revoked the preaching license of Pastor Bill Wendell after the shocking revelation that the preacher of 10 years failed to reference a single scene from Star Wars: The Last Jedi in his sermon Sunday.
An SBC raiding party knocked down the doors of Wendell’s office and stripped him of his preaching credentials after several church members complained about the glaring omission.
“We really recommend at least four or five references the Sunday following a big movie release like Star Wars, but we’ll let pastors with only a couple allusions to Rey’s struggle with the dark side slide,” SBC president Steve Gaines said when reached for comment. “Not referencing it at all is beyond the pale, and definitely worthy of a good defrocking.”
Witnesses claim Wendell gave a calm, measured exposition of the fourth chapter of Ephesians, not once drawing a connection between the renewing of the Christian’s mind and becoming Force-sensitive in the Star Wars universe, or between putting on the new self and Luke’s donning of new black robes in Return of the Jedi.
“It’s a real travesty—there’s just so much material there. It’s obvious Pastor Bill’s not a real man of God,” one church member said.