WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a tragic development, the Pride flag displayed outside Representative Tlaib's office in the Capitol was tossed off of a roof by the Palestinian flag she had been keeping adjacent to it.
"We are deeply saddened that the Palestinian flag, who we thought just wanted peace and autonomy, suddenly yeeted the Pride flag off the roof," said Ms. Tlaib in a statement. "We of course are saddened by the tragic attack on the LGBTQ community, but equally saddened by the oppression that forced the peace-loving Palestine flag to commit this terrible act. At the end of the day, we blame the Jews."
As the Capitol Police secured the area, agents expressed sorrow that the calamity was entirely preventable. "We should have seen it coming," said Officer Dan Rawls, as he surveyed the flag's remains. "Those two flags, they just never seem to mix well. Someone always winds up thrown off a building."
At publishing time, Ms. Tlaib was reportedly looking for a new flag to put by the Palestinian flag that expressed support for women's rights.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.