HELL — The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the modern feminist movement.
"Uh, seeing how things are shaking out with this most recent news cycle, I might have overdone it," Satan admitted to his henchdemons. "I told the ladies to leave their husbands and go corporate; that sounded like a fun time. But I didn't really think they'd take it all the way to killing their kids and celebrating baby murder. This is a little grim, even for my taste."
Satan discussed his disillusionment with his friends and told them he thought he probably should have toned it down a bit.
"Feminism seemed like the perfect way to destabilize families and sow discontent in Western society. But now look at the state of things; it's gotten way out of hand. I think I need to figure out a way to put some of this back in the bottle."
Recent news about the Lindsay Clancy trial and the prevalence of abortion in the United States rocked residents of Hell, many of whom agreed with Satan. "Yeah, too far, man," said a man in hell for burning down 20 villages and eating some of the charred residents. "They're pretty twisted."
At publishing time, Satan had asked liberal women if they wouldn't mind dialing things back a bit, as their behavior had started to make him look bad.
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