WASHINGTON, D.C. - Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has announced that she is leading a boycott against the popular show Sesame Street.
"I was watching it the other day," Ocasio-Cortez explained to the press, "because I love Abby Cadabby -- and then at the end, it mentioned the show was sponsored by the number seven, and I felt betrayed."
Ocasio-Cortez identified numbers as the main opposition to all of her plans, such as giving everyone free health care and her Green New Deal. "Numbers just want people to suffer and die," Ocasio-Cortez said. "Numbers are basically alt-right. And it felt like a stab to the heart -- a place you don't want to get stabbed -- to see Sesame Street accept money from them."
Ocasio-Cortez says she has no problem with Sesame Street accepting sponsorship from letters, as she uses those all the time in her clapback tweets, but urges everyone to stop watching the show while it associates itself with numbers. She is calling for the show to cut ties with the numbers one, two, three, five, seven, eight, and others she "might have forgotten." She also wants the show to remove the cast member The Count, whose support of numbers, she says, makes him "basically a white-supremacist" even though "he is purple."