U.S. — Men broke out in rejoicing upon learning that in the wake of the midterms, all the lovely, gorgeous liberal women of America were ready to end their sex boycott.
With abortion set to become more broadly legal post-election, progressive ladies alerted men that the sex boycott, which had been in place since the fall of Roe v. Wade, was finally over.
"Wow, how exciting. Just look at these beautiful women that are back on the market," said local man Brett Chandler. "It sure has been a tough few years without these blue-haired angels. What a relief!"
Following the announcement, the Democratic ladies of the nation have prepared for an onslaught of interested suitors. "Finally, all the men so desperate to be with us will come crawling," said local woman Xenise Doroman. "I can't imagine how crushed they were by our boycott, but I WAS NOT GOING TO DIE BECAUSE I COULD NOT HAVE AN ABORTION! I AM NOT A LIFE THAT CAN BE DISCARDED BY EVIL MEN WHO WANT TO FORCE ME TO MAKE BABIES DIE MEN DIE!!!"
At publishing time, liberal women had resumed the sex boycott after remembering that Trump was still alive and some men had voted for him.
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