GRAND RAPIDS, MI—In an effort to combat bigotry and take a more politically correct approach to scripture, Zondervan Publishing announced the release of the Pride Version of the Bible. In a press release, the Christian publishing company describes how this new edition would highlight --literally-- all the references to pride throughout God’s Word!
“While many Bibles have traditionally included the words of Christ printed in red ink to emphasize whatever stuff Jesus said, we wanted to present a more relevant Bible that celebrates diversity and pride!” a Zondervan representative explained. “There’s an unfortunate misconception these days that the Bible advocates for things like self-control and sacrificing personal desires and doesn’t condone LGBT+ culture. But what many people don’t know is that there are dozens of verses throughout the Bible that talk about pride! Now, every time you come across one such verse, the words will be highlighted in rainbow colors, symbolizing the celebration of LGBT+ lifestyles throughout the Old and New Testaments.”
Verses like 1 John 2:16, 2 Corinthians 12: 20-21 and Proverbs 16:18 are among those expected to receive the polychromatic treatment when the Bible is released later this year.
Passages featuring the fabulous new text colors include the following, as well as many others:
- Proverbs 11:2 - When PRIDE comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
- Proverbs 29:23 - One's PRIDE will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.
- Isaiah 2:17 - And the haughtiness of man shall be humbled, and the lofty PRIDE of men shall be brought low, and the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
- Proverbs 16:18 - PRIDE goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
- 1 John 2:16 - For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and PRIDE of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.
Despite the fanfare, pre-orders for the Bible have been slower than expected. Zondervan explained that, while their target market is progressive Christians such as Episcopalians and mainline Lutherans, they grossly overestimated how often those groups actually read Bibles.
At publishing time, Zondervan had put a hold on plans for the “Ze/Zim/Zer” Bible and the “That Bible Hero Is Probably Secretly Gay” Bible study aid.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.