CONCORDVILLE, PA—As he prepared for his annual July 4 barbecue Thursday morning, local man Paul E. Landon began his usual speech about patriotism and the need to show some respect to the American flag, all while wearing a complete getup consisting of American flag pants, shirt, do-rag, and, presumably, underwear.
"The flag deserves a place of honor and respect," he said as he warmed up the barbecue, his American flag pants wrapping his sweaty legs and barely concealing his American flag underwear. "I'm tired of all these athletes disrespecting it. As I sit on the couch and eat Cheetos trying to enjoy football every fall, it ticks me off to see not all of the players standing."
"George Washington died for this flag---the least we can do is show it some common courtesy," he said, wiping grease from the grill on his Old Glory shirt.
At publishing time, Landon had gotten out his American flag plates to serve hot dogs on, his American flag beach towel to dry himself off after a dip in the Jacuzzi, and his American flag mug to contain his Budweiser.