LOS GATOS, CA — Netflix announced they have acquired the rights to tell the tragic story of Tyre Nichols' death at the hands of 5 black police officers. Leadership at the streaming giant confirmed the police officers will be portrayed by white actors.

"While we know the 5 officers who killed Nichols were factually black, it is also clear that they were morally white," said Netflix VP of Inclusion Vernā Myers. "Since TV is a visual medium, we want to convey to the viewer that these officers had the invisible specter of white supremacy flowing through their veins."

According to sources, the five officers guilty of the brutal beating will be played by unknown actors Wyatt Smith, Scott Peasley, Benedict Higgins, Steve O'Murphy, and Karen McMinnahan. The rest of the 283-person cast will be filled by people of color to fulfill diversity requirements.

Showrunner Nina Myers, a trans woman of color who has never directed a film before, vowed to bring the story to life in a way that modern audiences will connect with. "We vow to do this story justice... social justice," she said. "Now more than ever, viewers need to be reminded that whiteness is to blame for everything bad in the world. They then need to be beaten over the head with that message over and over again until they finally admit they're upholding a racist system. That's the very purpose of television entertainment."

At publishing time, the 5 white actors had been canceled for taking acting jobs away from people of color.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.