PHILADELPHIA, PA — NBA officials believe they've finally found a way to get LeBron James to stand at attention during the national anthem and show some respect by giving him a Chinese flag to look at.
James, in his first game for the 76ers, was seen practicing his golf swing during the national anthem at this year's season opener at Madison Square Garden. The NBA received hundreds of complaints as a result, forcing league officials to figure out the best way to get the veteran player to sit still like an adult. Then it hit them: China.
A Chinese flag, just for LeBron, will be held up by a little Chinese boy in front of James's face during the national anthem to get the power forward to behave.
Though an unconventional solution, it appears to have worked.
"China is a totalitarian communist hellscape and LeBron loves it," said NBA Commissioner Bob Basketball. "Probably because of all the sweatshops they've got working on his Nike shoe line."
76ers head coach Nick Nurse said he knew adding the Space Jam: A New Legacy star to their roster would come with some hurdles, but he hadn't expected this. "LeBron comes to us from Los Angeles, where people hate America, but this is Philadelphia, the birthplace of America," said 76ers head coach Nick Nurse. "John Adams would be rolling over in his grave if he could, but he was too fat near the end, sadly."
At publishing time, the NBA had added a picture of Xi Jinping to the flag to ensure LeBron's compliance.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
