Nation's Wives All Announce They Too Have To Get To A Prayer Breakfast
Life · Jul 29, 2023 ·

U.S. — Wives across the nation announced that they too have to get to a prayer breakfast, informing disappointed husbands that making love must wait.

"I know, third prayer breakfast this week. Crazy," said Ashley Jones to her husband Michael. "I just really love prayer! And breakfast."

Husbands have noted a drop-off in wives having headaches coinciding with the sudden explosion in prayer breakfasts. "Ashley's evening headaches just suddenly stopped, right as she's had this apparent spiritual awakening," said Mr. Jones. "I'm really grateful she's rediscovered her prayer life, but the timing of these breakfasts has been the absolute worst."

To their great chagrin, husbands also discovered that prayer breakfasts are now routinely being held at 9 p.m., especially on Fridays. "It's more like a prayer brinner," explained local wife Kelsey Crenshaw. "I can't be late! Otherwise, I'd totally be up for it, babe. Also, um, there may be margaritas at brinner, so I'll take an Uber."

At publishing time, marriage counselors had reported a sudden surge in couples seeking help for dealing with prayer breakfasts.

Babylon Bee subscriber Zackary Russell contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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