Nation That Calls Trump ‘Hitler’ Demands He Take All Guns Away

U.S.—Sources across the United States confirmed Friday that the cross-section of citizenry which has been comparing President Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler for two years has begun to demand that he take guns away from all citizens at once.

Passionate protests and rallies recently all demanded the “dangerous madman” confiscate everybody’s firearms.

“Trump is a dangerous tyrant, so he should be the only one with deadly weapons!” one woman screamed at an anti-gun protest. “People obviously can’t be trusted with them. Instead, we need to entrust them only to the most powerful man on the planet, who has proven time and time again he’s no better than history’s most violent dictators and has the potential to become an iron-fisted totalitarian!”

Holding up a variety of colored signs and chanting various slogans, the protesters simultaneously upheld the ideas that Donald Trump is a raving lunatic and that any citizens who wish to own a firearm in order to protect themselves and their families have “blood on their hands.”

At publishing time, the nation had continued to blame gun owners for any shooting that occurs in the United States, while absolving Planned Parenthood of killing millions upon millions of babies.