Politics
More Liberals Switching Their Vote To Trump After Realizing He's Their Only Reason For Living

U.S.—A new poll has found that more liberals are switching their vote to Trump after realizing he's their entire reason for living.

Many progressives went to the polls intending to vote for Biden and switched at the last moment, suddenly having an existential crisis. If Trump loses, they reasoned, they would be completely rudderless for the next four years, not having anyone to blame all their problems on or claim to be oppressed by.

"Without Trump, I'd be lost. It's a real Batman-Joker situation here," said Xander Zee as he protested in front of the White House, begging people to vote for Trump. "He's my muse, the object of my passion, the orange of my eye."

"Please don't vote him out! Orange man good! Orange man good!"

Millions of liberals looked at the polls and saw that Trump was losing handily to Biden so far, and began screaming at the sky in anguish. "Don't take him away from us, universe! Why, cruel world!? WHY!!?!?!"

They are currently holding out hope that if Trump loses, he'll refuse to leave office.

There are 61 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.