HOLLYWOOD, CA - Just days after being outed as a possible Christian, Chris Pratt signed on for hundreds of cheesy Christian movies, including God's Not Dead 4: Revenge of the Atheists.
The movie is a direct sequel to the other three. This time, Kevin Sorbo's character, an atheist who got run over by a car, is resurrected by a defective COVID vaccine. He returns and does not remember his conversion just before he died. Then, he goes out on a mission to hunt down all the Christians and make them read science textbooks. The only thing standing between him and Christians learning about evolution is Chris Pratt and Kirk Cameron.
"I'm super excited to star in this movie, and this is gonna be tons of fun!" Pratt said happily. His friendliness is what got him into trouble in the first place, of course, as people began to suspect he was possibly a conservative and, even worse, a Christian, because he was so nice. "Golly gee willikers, this will be a real hoot!"
Cameron stared at Pratt enviously, munching on a doughnut near the snack table. "Yeah, kid. I'm glad you're excited. But let's see if you got the chops to really turn the camp up to 11. I'm just not sure you got what it takes, bub."
Cameron later apologized to Pratt for using such gross profanity.