HEAVEN — Celestial sources shed light on the eternal rewards of two pastors yesterday, confirming that Frank Linderson, the pastor of a congregation of 40 people for over half a century was welcomed into Heaven's Avengers Tower while Brad Neil, who had been a megachurch pastor for six years, was given his very own celestial shack.
According to angelic witnesses, Linderson had dedicated his entire life to building up Christ's church, raising a family of five on $21,000 a year, constantly visiting the sick, waking up in the middle of the night at all hours to comfort the dying, and ministering to the poor.
"You should have seen his face when the Lord spoke the words, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant,'" said a spokesangel. "And then his expression when we showed him the Avengers Tower? Absolutely classic! The guy hadn't even seen Marvel movies on earth — he was too busy pastoring — but he sure looked excited as soon as he caught a glimpse of it."
While Neil was rejoicing in the bliss of worshipping God in heaven, witnesses did note that his heavenly habitation was not quite as big, as he had only been a megachurch "pastor."
"It seems like Brad did the Lord's work, too — at least on Mondays and Thursdays from 12-4," Michael said. "So we wanted to reflect his eternal reward with a heavenly hovel. We're kidding him a little, and we're glad he's in Heaven, but he got what he earned."
At publishing time, the spokesangel had confirmed that Ms. Sue who taught 1st through 3rd grade Sunday school for 72 years had been moved into the heavenly Buckingham Palace.
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