EDMONTON — Just days before Electronic Arts shuttered video game developer BioWare Corp., sources confirmed a divine promise was made to spare the studio if at least ten heterosexual white male game developers could be found there.
According to sources, the outcry against BioWare was exceedingly great and their sin was grave. They had destroyed the value of once popular franchises and reduced their latest fantasy RPG to a gender identity struggle session.
EA Chief Studios Officer Cam Weber reportedly felt compassion on the studio and pleaded for it to be spared. "Will You indeed sweep away the straight designers with the gay?" he asked. "Suppose there are fifty heterosexual white men in the studio; will You indeed sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty heterosexual white men who are in it?"
He continued, "Far be it from You to do such a thing, to fire the normal with the woke, so that those with common sense and those who are obsessed with gender identity are treated alike. Mass Effect 2 was really good, and I think there are still some people from that time who work there!"
And an agreement was made, but it was quickly changed when Weber looked at the latest numbers and realized he had put too much trust in the staff at BioWare. He was fearful and knew where that path would lead. So he dared ask again:
"Oh, may the Lord not be angry, and I shall speak only this once; suppose ten are found there? Ten heterosexual white men. Will you close the studio on account of ten?"
At publishing time, BioWare Corp. had been closed.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
