McDonald's Now Offering 36-Month, 0% Interest Financing On All Value Meals
Finance · Oct 30, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — As part of a limited-time offer to cash-strapped customers, fast-food giant McDonald's is now offering 36-month, 0% interest financing on all value menu items.

"We know how hard it can be to feed a family in a McDonald's drive-thru these days on a middle-class budget," said CEO Chris Kempczinski. "We hope our simple financing plan provides much-needed relief to people trying to afford our $200 value meals that we sell to pay the six-figure salaries of our employees in a time of runaway inflation."

Qualifying customers will be given the option to put money down or defer payments for up to six months after filling out a 12-page application. The company also confirmed that it will endeavor to make meals more affordable by cutting portion sizes. "When you think about it, who needs a whole burger?" said Kempczinski. "Our new budget half-burgers are only $100 for the budget-conscious customer!"

The company also said that they will soon be offering reverse mortgage plans.

At publishing time, Chick-fil-A had responded by promising to keep prices the same as they've been for 15 years, which customers agreed was still too expensive.

Babylon Bee subscriber Dr Conservative Prof contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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