CULVER CITY, LA — Conservative commentator Matt Walsh has sparked controversy once again by appearing on the hit show Jeopardy! and responding to every answer with his now-infamous catchphrase, "What is a woman?"
The normally composed Alex Trebek successor, Ken Jennings, found himself caught off guard as Walsh consistently delivered his singular response, regardless of the topic at hand. Other contestants rolled their eyes and sighed, signaling they were good progressives who shouldn't be canceled.
Jennings grew more flustered as he read each clue, only for Walsh to buzz in first every time.
"EL PASO, TEXAS SITS JUST OPPOSITE THIS MEXICAN CITY ON THE RIO GRANDE."
"What is a woman?" replied Matt Walsh confidently only to be informed that the correct answer was Ciudad Juarez. "I'll take Quantum Physics for $1000, Ken."
"A DEVICE THAT ALLOWS SOME LIGHT TO PASS THROUGH UNIMPEDED WHILE COMPLETELY ABSORBING LIGHT."
"What is a woman?" replied Walsh once again with a smirk on his face.
"That's incorrect. The correct answer was 'What is a polarizing filter?'," replied host Ken Jenning barely keeping his composure and literally shaking. "I would remind contestants that the objective of Jeopardy! is to actually answer the question, er... respond to the clue, or whatever it's called! UGH SOMEONE HELP ME!"
At publishing time, the other contestants refused to respond to the final $1000 question when the category was BASIC BIOLOGY and the clue was "AN ADULT HUMAN FEMALE". To everyone's surprise, Matt Walsh simply replied with "What is a woman?" earning him $1000 and leaving him with -23,100.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
