LAFAYETTE, IN — A local 10-year-old boy has died tragically of severe trauma due to his mother taking away his Nintendo Switch for a few days.
According to sources, 10-year-old Camden Connor passed away shortly after his mother told him: "Camden, I've had it with your bad attitude today. Give me the Switch and go outside and play!"
"I have never seen such abuse," said one paramedic who arrived on the scene. "To force an innocent 10-year-old boy to be parted from Super Mario Odyssey, or The Legand of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, or Minecraft for hours is bad enough... but for days? I never knew people could be capable of such cruelty."
Eyewitnesses say the mother was provoked after she told her son to make his bed and was met with the response: "Mo-ooom! Not now! I'm BUSY! Sheeeeesh!" She then ripped the electronic device from the poor victim's hands, instantly sealing his calamitous fate.
The mother has been sentenced to death by having Instagram deleted from her phone.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
