WASHINGTON, D.C.—A Mandalorian warrior has arrived in Washington, D.C. to protect Baby Trump from Iranian bounty hunters.
After Baby Trump's life was threatened with an $80 million bounty, the precious child was scooped up by the mysterious Mandalorian.
Sources say the Mandalorian was actually hired to kill Trump originally but fell in love after seeing his cute orange hair and glowing skin. He immediately killed an assassin droid that was about to take out the baby president and loaded him onto his spaceship. The two have been inseparable ever since, going on wacky interplanetary adventures as the bounty-hunter-turned-babysitter tries to protect the adorable little chief executive from getting hurt.
The Mandalorian has defended his actions, stating, "This is the way." When pressed for comment, he would only say, "I have spoken."