Man Who Trusts Science Wears Mask While Outside, Helmet While Driving, Water Wings While Taking A Bath
Health · Apr 19, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

WALTHAM, MA - Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That's why, despite getting vaccinated, he's listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. "There's still a risk I could get the virus out there," said Stone. "It's a pretty large number -- like ten million... dividing a one -- so it's just right to be cautious."

Stone takes similar precautions when driving, always wearing a helmet. "You could crash at any time," explained Stone -- who was also wearing a mask while alone in the car to protect against the less than a billionth chance of viral infection in that situation. "That's why, in addition to a seatbelt, you need to wear a helmet when in a car. It's also a good idea when using stairs. That's just science."

Stone also stayed cautious when taking a bath, always wearing water wings to help prevent drowning. "People drown all the time," Stone said. "Not usually grown adults in bathtubs, but it happens. This is just trusting the science and taking known precautions." Stone then put on a helmet to prepare to stand up from the bath.

Dr. Fauci agreed with Stone's assessment. "You have to be careful with these things," he said. "I would also wear water wings when anywhere near anyone else taking a bath, in case you fall in. And wear a mask when bathing. Just don't clean that part of your face."


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