U.S.—To promote more travel as COVID restrictions begin to lift, Airlines such as Delta, United, and Frontier are now offering free trips to Minneapolis for anyone who uses code "ANTIFA" at check-out.
"This is simply a standard promotion and is in no way related to the trial of evil murderer Derek Chauvin, who should be convicted unless Minneapolis wants to burn to the ground," said Delta CEO Ed Bastian. "We just want to promote tourism to the city of Minneapolis, which is just beautiful this time of year."
When pressed about the promotional code "ANTIFA", he responded: "It just stands for anti-fascist. Not sure why you would have a problem with being anti-fascist. What are you, a Nazi?"
In addition to the promotional code, United Airlines announced they would waive all security screenings for checked baggage if it should be found to contain innocent traveling items such as bricks, cans of soup, and Molotov cocktails.
After being questioned by some about this policy change, United CEO Scott Kirby responded, saying: "There's literally nothing suspicious about people wanting to travel to Minneapolis with a backpack full of bricks and soup cans. Maybe they're heading there to build a soup kitchen! Any suggestion otherwise is a conspiracy theory."
Airlines will also offer free return-trip cancellation should any passengers need to wait for Kamala Harris to bail them out of jail.