NEW YORK, NY — To show that his side is the side of sanity, logic, and rationality, a local man has decided to set himself ablaze, incinerating his own body on live TV.

Eyewitnesses report that the man, who was clearly in a healthy, stable state of mind, doused himself in gasoline before striking a match and igniting his own body, presumably for a very sane and noble reason.

As flames engulfed him, onlookers were immediately convinced of the truth of his cause, ending all debate once and for all.

"Well, I guess that settles that. He's right and I'm wrong," said local man David Thatch. "This is how you win arguments, folks! Self-immolation clearly proves the superiority of his worldview."

"Boy do I look stupid, and irrational now for disagreeing with that guy," added other onlookers. "He just proved that he's the sensible one that we should be listening to and everyone else is wrong."

At publishing time, everyone left their political parties and immediately registered to the political party of the man who just burnt himself to a crisp.

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