Man Feels The Need To Clarify He Doesn't Support Trump Before Every Mundane Statement
Politics · Mar 13, 2019 ·

WINDSOR HEIGHTS, IA - Sources close to local man Aaron Dudley confirmed Wednesday that the man somehow feels the need to clarify that he doesn't support President Trump before every single statement he makes.

Dudley told reporters the move is just to make sure no one mistakes him for a Trump supporter when he says he likes a particular movie or comments on how nice the weather is on a given morning.

"Look, I'm not saying I support President Trump, but I thought Captain Marvel was just OK," he told a friend over coffee Wednesday. "I'm not a Trump supporter though! I'm not. Just wanted to be clear on that."

The man is always sure to frame each statement in the context that he's not a Trump supporter, whether he's having a casual conversation with his wife, making an observation about the text in a Bible study, or ordering tacos.

"Did I mention that I don't support Trump? Just want to be clear on that before I order my value meal," he reportedly said to a Taco Bell employee. "Not a Trump supporter." He also told another employee he didn't support Trump while asking for more hot sauce "just in case you got that impression or something."

At publishing time, Dudley had told a friend that he's not a Trump supporter but he's excited that baseball season is almost here again.


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