JEFFERSON CITY, MO - As guests solemnly stood in line to partake in the sacred Christian tradition of eating the Lord's chicken at a local Chick-fil-A restaurant, the store's manager, Brett Matley, took a few moments to remind them to examine themselves before consuming the moist, delicious food and sucking down a rich Chick-fil-A milkshake.
"Remember, if anyone eats of the chicken sandwiches or partakes of our delicious milkshakes in an unworthy manner, he eats and drinks judgment upon himself," the manager said gently but firmly to the patrons waiting to order. "That doesn't mean you have to be perfect---but it does mean you should repent of any unconfessed sin in your lives and make sure you're a true Chick-fil-A convert before scarfing down a classic chicken sandwich."
Matley also reminded the guests that the chicken was only for true believers. "Please, if you haven't come to the point of accepting Chick-fil-A as your one and only option for delicious chicken sandwiches, we ask you to refrain." The manager let guests know that several employees were standing up near the registers and could pray to help you receive Chick-fil-A into their lives if they hadn't come to a point of decision yet.
"The chicken will wait," he said.
At publishing time, an atheist man had disregarded the manager's warning and skipped to the front of the line to pick up his to-go order, only to dissolve into a pile of ashes before shocked patrons' eyes.