CHICAGO, IL — One local customer was caught off guard by a new policy at his favorite restaurant chain, as the Chipotle cashier told the man that there would be an extra charge for no Salmonella.
While previous upcharges had been reserved for added toppings or items such as queso or guacamole, Chipotle revealed it would now be charging customers extra if they wanted to receive their food without the risk of Salmonella poisoning.
"That'll be a dollar more, sir," the cashier informed him at the register when he kindly requested that they hold the Salmonella.
The customer, Stan Brooks, said he didn't expect to have to pay extra to avoid a bout with food poisoning. "This is getting a little ridiculous," he said later. "First, it was charging an arm and a leg for a tiny cup of guac. Now I'm getting dinged for an extra dollar just to not contract Salmonella from the contaminated jalapeños. What's next? Charging me two more bucks to get steak that tastes like actual meat instead of used tires that have been cut up into little cubes? Come on, Chipotle."
When reached for comment, a Chipotle spokesperson confirmed the new charge. "Yes, it's true, you will have to pay more if you don't want Salmonella," Chipotle marketing representative Judy Linneman said. "We know that while some of our customers enjoy some Salmonella every now and then, it might not be everyone's cup of tea. So, just throw in another dollar, and you can have your meal without worrying about intestinal distress."
At publishing time, Brooks had confirmed that he was suffering from severe diarrhea, but it was just normal Chipotle diarrhea and not Salmonella.
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