LAUREL, MS - Inspired by the fight for medical freedom in Canada, local retiree Dale O'Reilly decided to donate to the Trucker Convoy. But in order to keep from getting doxxed by the Washington Post, he very wisely entered his name as "Hunter Biden." Smart!
"I and the missus like to give money to worthy causes, but we don't want those no-good Antifa thugs showing up in our front yard," said O'Reilly. "Or worse - what if someone called my shuffleboard league and got me kicked out for donating to the truckers? Can't have that!"
According to experts, pretending to be Hunter Biden is the most effective way to make sure Big Tech pulls out all the stops to protect your privacy. If anyone tries to share leaked information about someone named "Hunter Biden" The Washington Post will squash the story and work with Big Tech to ensure anyone who shares non-public information about that person is permanently suspended from their platform.
"It's a dangerous world out there," said O'Reilly as he confirmed his donation of $12.24 to the Freedom Convoy. "I gotta do my best to keep safe."
Unfortunately, O'Reilly was later doxxed by Ukrainian authorities who were collecting evidence of Hunter Biden's corruption.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
