Metropolis Sues Superman For Reducing Crime

U.S. · Aug 18, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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METROPOLIS — A new scandal threatened to arise between governing officials and Earth's greatest superhero, as Metropolis sued Superman for being far too effective in reducing crime in the city.

City leaders were outraged that the Last Son of Krytpon had the audacity to take it upon himself to stop criminals in the middle of committing their brazen acts of lawlessness and protect the innocent citizens who were put in harm's way.

"This is literal fascism. Restoring law, order, and safety will never be acceptable here," said Metropolis Mayor Bradford Sackett. "The criminal element is a long-revered part of the fabric of our city's culture and tradition, and we will not stand for someone from another planet coming here and making Metropolis safer for everyone. We have filed a lawsuit to hold Superman accountable for the harm he's doing by saving law-abiding citizens from harm."

While most citizens felt the lawsuit was an egregious example of lawfare, one prominent Metropolis resident voiced strong support for it. "It's about time Superman was treated like the public menace he is," said businessman Lex Luthor in an OpEd article for The Daily Planet. "Superman's crime-fighting disproportionately affects Metropolans of color. I've been trying to warn everyone for years, but now it seems like they're finally taking action. If there is any justice, this city will remain a safe place for criminals and miscreants to terrorize, rob, and murder with impunity."

At publishing time, the Democrat mayor of Gotham City had opened up his city to serve as a sanctuary for all Metropolis criminals seeking a place of refuge.


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