NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani attempted to deliver a solemn address to mark the anniversary of October 7th, but was derailed as his wife's party balloons kept floating through the picture.
Having only just taken down her 9/11 party decorations, Mamdani's wife had spent the morning putting up banners and balloons for the couple's 10/7 festivities. Sadly, the Mylar balloons extolling the mass murder and rape of Israel continued to wander into the mayor's camera angle.
"Today, we mark the third anniversary of the attacks of October 7th, a memory that I know is painful for... hold on, sorry, this 'Hooray Hamas' balloon keeps getting in my way," said Mamdani, swatting away the balloon. "Anyhow, as I was saying, on that terrible day three years ago. Hamas killed over one thousand -- hold up a moment -- BABE! Get these 'Happy 10/7 balloons out of here! And yes, it's too early for kazoos!"
According to citizens, the celebratory decor somewhat detracted from Mamdani's attempt at a somber public address. "Seeing all of the 'Finish The Job, Hamas!' signs in the background, it just made it feel a little less sincere," said local man Frank Benoit. "Oh, and when his wife started shooting fireworks with little man on paragliders, it somehow took away from the solemnity I think he was going for."
At publishing time, Mamdani had apologized for the interruption after a conga line chanting "Globalize the Intifada" passed behind him.
Noah's Ark has definitely been found and we highlight 9 incredible artifacts that prove it.
