OKLAHOMA CITY, OK—According to unconfirmed reports from sources close to local believer Matthew Anderson, the man watched an entire movie with his family on Netflix Wednesday evening without drawing a single connection between the events of the film and the biblical gospel message.
The man simply enjoyed the film, and never once paused it to lecture his family on the obvious Christ figures or subtle depictions of the depravity of man throughout the movie.
“It was crazy—he just laughed at the jokes and smiled at the heartwarming moments. He didn’t even run to his computer afterward to pen a think piece on the heavy gospel themes in the film,” one of his friends said later. “The guy’s a total madhouse!”
Anderson reportedly let multiple “golden opportunities” to make heavy-handed comments connecting the movie to his Christian faith go by. Even in a climactic scene where a father figure in the film sacrificed himself for his family, Anderson merely watched the movie and finished off his popcorn, sources confirmed.
At publishing time, Anderson had watched an entire football game without making a single comment connecting the game to the Christian walk.