LYNCHBURG, VA - As a proactive safety precaution, Liberty University has installed metal detectors throughout its Lynchburg campus in order to ensure that all students are armed before they enter any university building.
"This is just another step in our patriotic, God-honoring devotion to the Second Amendment," university President Jerry Falwell, Jr. told reporters at a Wednesday press conference, adding that their recently unveiled shooting range and concealed-carry classes are very popular among the student body.
"In this day and age, we want to make sure we're taking all necessary precautions."
The protocol for implementing the new metal detectors is very straightforward, Falwell says.
"If a student attempts to come into a building on campus and fails to set off the metal detector - indicating that he or she might possibly not be armed - then that student will be detained until the situation is sorted out. They can either return to their home or vehicle and retrieve a firearm, or we can furnish them with one of the Liberty Glocks we'll have available in limited numbers for our forgetful students."
"This new procedure gives us the peace of mind that comes with knowing that no person can get into any Liberty building unless they're armed to the teeth," he added.