LOS ANGELES, CA—While attempting to find a new surf spot an LA local had told him about, former pastor Rob Bell hopped in his VW Bug and made for the beach last Thursday morning, but had not yet arrived at his destination after over five days of driving when he refused to listen to his “toxically dogmatic and narrow-minded” GPS, sources confirmed.
“Turn right now and merge onto the 405 south,” the dash-mounted device reportedly told Bell as he made his way up Hawthorne Blvd. But when the popular Love Wins author smirked and shook his head at the expensive GPS’s “know-it-all” attitude, the unit attempted to reroute him and asked him to make a U-turn.
“I’m just going to follow my own path—all roads lead to the same destination, after all,” Bell said confidently as he guided his vintage car in the completely wrong direction. “You don’t know my life.”
“In 400 feet, make a U-turn,” the device repeated for several hours before finally attempting to reroute him east on the 60 and back down the I-5 to get him to the exact spot he was trying to go.
After several days driving around hundreds of miles of surface streets in and around the greater Los Angeles area, the typically mellow Bell finally grew fed up with his navigation system’s “unbelievable arrogance” in thinking it knew the only way to get to the beach that he was now 250 miles farther from than when he started, and chucked the high-end navigational computer out his driver-side window.
At publishing time, Bell was spotted driving through Yuma, Arizona, singing along loudly with a Gungor cassette tape.
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