WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of President Biden announcing the release of those imprisoned for non-violent marijuana offenses, Kamala Harris is demanding answers on who locked all those people up in the first place.
"The community is the community, and that's real," she said in a statement. "And in the community, if a racist Attorney General, say in California, locks up the community, there won't be a community anymore. I need answers on who's responsible for this miscarriage of justice in our community. A community is a group of people who live together."
According to sources, Harris's two remaining staff members have been told to stop working on fixing the southern border and pour all their energy into finding out who's responsible for the mass incarceration that locked up thousands of minorities for non-violent drug charges. When informed that she herself played a part in mass incarceration, Harris responded by laughing awkwardly for a full 10 minutes and then firing her staff.
At publishing time, Harris confirmed she was close to finding answers, but would not get them until the "passage of time" was significant.
In this instructional video, Chinese soldiers are trained how to shout the wrong pronouns at American forces: