U.S. — According to sources, decades of progress made by various recycling programs across the country have been undone in the span of a month by a single midterm election after multiple homes were spotted with dozens of non-reusable political signs that would soon end up in a garbage landfill.
"If you know another way to get out the vote I'm all ears," said Ronald Wilson, a Democrat voter who is deeply concerned about the environment. "I desperately need people to drive by, see my house, and vote for these 18 different people with signs on my lawn or we will never be able to survive the new climate crisis caused by all these political signs."
Climate experts believe all of the ice caps would be fine and the hole in the ozone would heal if not for the abundance of political signage. Now, however, the water will rise several feet and the earth will become a million degrees warmer. "We are all going to die," said Dr. Elton Shivers, a Harvard scientist.
At publishing time, James Talarico of Texas had announced he would do something to take care of the signs, even if it meant making out with a dude.
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