SACRAMENTO, CA — After securing the letter "D" next to his name on the ballot, a Halloween decoration propped up against a front porch has won the governor's race in California.
Jack the Scarecrow made it on the ballot and won the gubernatorial race after voters noticed he had the letter "D" next to his name and was sharply dressed. Though voters admitted to knowing little about the policy positions of the straw-stuffed man, the "Democrat" next to his name was enough.
"Yay for Governor Scarecrow! Love wins!" said local liberal Carol McDonald. "Can you believe he used to be a Halloween decoration and now he's our governor? It's such an inspiring story. Nothing, not even having straw for brains, can stop you from becoming the next Democratic governor of California. That's what real acceptance looks like."
For his part, Jack continued sitting on the front porch, seemingly unmoved by his recent victory.
At publishing time, Jack the Scarecrow had reportedly appointed several large pumpkins to serve in his cabinet, to the cheers of many.
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