FORBIDDEN WOODS—Recent polls have shown a low favorability rating for Vice President Kamala Harris. To combat this, she has taken the unusual step of releasing all the children she had imprisoned in her gingerbread house deep within the forest.
“Look at all of your children returned!” Harris announced as the kids fled from her. “And uneaten as well!”
It’s unclear why Harris has such a low approval rating. Some people blame sexism or racism or a combination of the two (sometimes known as “rexism”), but Harris hopes she can turn her approval rating around by giving families back their children and not plumping them up and eating them like she had originally planned.
“Run! Run back to your families!” Harris yelled to the fleeing kids and then let out one of her famous laughs.
“It’s just hard for a black woman in this climate,” said Sally Hubbard, an aide to Harris. “And it’s not going to be any easier for her, since she’ll now be cranky, having not satiated her hunger for children.”