Politics
Ilhan Omar Seen Driving Giant Industrial Ballot Harvester Through Minneapolis

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Ilhan Omar is being accused of violating campaign ethics laws after she was spotted driving a giant industrial ballot harvester through downtown Minneapolis.

On loan from the DNC, the state-of-the-art harvester is capable of harvesting over 200 bushels of votes per hour, allowing candidates to harvest enough votes to cheat an opponent out of an election. And best of all, every vote is 100% home-grown, locally sourced, and organic.

"Ballots! Bring out your ballots!" Omar called, prompting citizens to throw their ballots out in front of the machine for easy pickup by her campaign. The Minneapolis residents are compensated handsomely for their ripe, delicious ballots.

After completing her run through the city, Omar emptied the harvester and took it for a spin through a local cemetery.

"It's not much, but it's honest work," she said. "Well, it's not honest work. But if you say that, you're a racist."

There are 229 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.