WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Respect for Marriage Bill to codify gay marriage nearing final passage, Representative Ilhan Omar has asked for an additional amendment to allow another form of marriage people might want to take advantage of from time to time.
"Hey guys, I dunno, can we add, let's say, 'marriage to your own brother' to the list of officially recognized marriages?" said the Congresswoman from Minneapolis. "Like, say, if you want to rig the immigration system in your favor by marrying a relative, maybe we should just go ahead and legalize it, just in case. Not that I would do that myself, don't be silly."
The congresswoman has requested the new law be retroactive to cover anyone who may have engaged in this activity in the early 2000s. "That would ensure we, ya know, cover our bases and stuff," she said.
Senator Mitch McConnell condemned the proposed change, adding that sibling marriage only works in his home state of Kentucky and shouldn't be rolled out nationwide.
At publishing time, Mitt Romney also requested a last-minute amendment legalizing polygamy.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
