WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled out her phone to see if she had made any drunk posts last night.
After spending a few minutes fumbling around for ibuprofen, Harris became suspicious upon seeing several thousand text messages asking if she was okay.
"Oh man, what did I say," wondered Harris, frantically flipping through her feed. "Ten thousand messages asking if I'm okay... that is a bit above average. Not good, Kamala. I kind of remember being on a Zoom call? Crap, what did I say??"
Wrapping her head in a pillow to soften the pain, Harris tried to play it cool by nonchalantly asking aides about last night. "Whew, crazy night, right Andrea? Can you believe what I did?" asked Kamala. "When I did, you know, the thing, and everyone was laughing. Gosh, what exactly did I say? Can you remember, and also maybe tell me if it was recorded, and also how to delete it?"
At publishing time, Kamala had watched the video from last night, and announced to aides that someone was going to need to make another wine run.
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