WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former White House Chief Strategist and media executive Steve Bannon was offered some change and a hot meal when he was discovered by a homeless man Monday.
"Hey buddy, you look like you're having a tougher time than I am. Here, have a couple bucks for a Big Mac," said the homeless man.
Bannon is standing trial this week for failing to comply with subpoenas issued by the Jan 6 House select committee. He was first spotted by the kind hobo while leaning against the courthouse while the court was in recess. Reports indicate, however, that his unkempt appearance is typical and not the result of additional stress.
"I'm a professional," said Bannon. "I made sure to shower two weeks ago."
According to sources, the unidentified homeless man was happy to help the beleaguered Bannon until it was discovered he had a net worth of $20 million.
"I bought that man a Big Mac!" witnesses heard the homeless man say.
At publishing time, Steve Bannon had made $300 just sitting in front of the courthouse.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.