HOLLYWOOD, CA — Hollywood critics, actors, and producers are reportedly confused by Sound of Freedom, an action thriller produced by Angel Studios and starring Jim Caviezel, because it depicts child sex trafficking as a bad thing.
According to sources among the nation's entertainment elite, Hollywood insiders had been excited to learn there was a film coming out about sex trafficking but were then disappointed when they found out it's depicted as a negative thing in the film. Critics have been giving the film poor reviews, citing the filmmakers' "baffling" decision to take a stance against the practice, with The New York Times slamming the movie for "not having enough kink."
"It's just confusing," said one director. "You go through all this trouble to make a film about child sex trafficking, and then you end up making the traffickers out to be the bad guys?"
"Such a missed opportunity."
"Yeah, I guess I just don't get it either," said Ezra Miller (they/them). "You're not supposed to kidnap people? Or it's like, frowned upon? Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
At publishing time, President Joe Biden had slammed the movie as "a far-right extremist domestic terrorist act" and called upon Congress to pass "common-sense Mormon film control."
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
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