NEW YORK, NY — In a controversial decision, producers of the popular daytime talk show The View announced the show will be adding a Hamas terrorist to its panel of hosts.
"This should really heat things up on the panel," said co-host Sunny Hostin. "With this member of Hamas being added to the lineup, viewers should definitely expect some explosive conversations. Wait, sorry, that's probably a poor choice of words. What I mean is they will take the attention of our viewers captive. No, sorry, don't print that. What I'm really trying to say is that this new member of the panel won't be afraid to unload on every topic with both barrels. No, sorry. Never mind. I'm sorry."
The announcement was met with instant criticism, with many people pointing to this weekend's outbreak of war in Israel following the deadly terrorist attack by Hamas on the Israeli military and civilians. "This is really just horribly distasteful," said concerned viewer Erika Olla. "On second thought, stuff that's horribly distasteful is exactly what The View specializes in, so maybe it's a perfect fit."
Other cast members refuted such critiques. "It's very easy to refer to Hamas as ‘terrorists,'" said long-time co-host Joy Behar. "We want to understand the viewpoints of everyone, including someone who wants to kidnap, rape, and murder innocent people."
At publishing time, The View was reportedly having trouble filling seats in the studio for this week's tapings.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.