Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok

U.S. · Sep 2, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok

DANBURY, CT — According to sources, a toddler has reportedly put herself up for adoption after witnessing his mother scrolling through Lindsay Clancy TikTok.

Four-year-old Michelle Sims was living her best life, pretending her mother's knee was a horsey, when her world came tumbling down. Sims' mother wasn't trying to be a horsey at all -- she was instead staring at her computer, watching videos of people pretending to kill their babies on TikTok.

Sims immediately ran to call CPS, crying, "I need a stranger to take me please. Anyone. Parent danger, stranger savior."

Though she couldn't spell it, what Sims had asked for was emancipation from her parents. She wanted to begin a new life with a new guardian, one that would hopefully not fantasize about killing her.

Sims' father wasn't so bad, the toddler later admitted. "Daddy give cookie!" she explained. However, getting as far as possible from his mother was vital to her plan of not dying.

"Oh yeah, she's nuts," Tony Sims, the boys' father, said of his wife. "I'd want to leave too."

Representatives from the Danbury Department of Children and Families were initially hesitant to let Sims put herself up for adoption, as no toddler had ever done so. Sources confirm they gave in, however, after recognizing the girl's mother on TikTok.

"She'd made her own video and it was super cringe," case worker Amber Snelling said. "I'm not so much concerned with the baby killing as I am with the cringe. No child should grow up around cringe."

At publishing time, Michelle Sims had been adopted by a loving couple who'd never heard of TikTok.


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