Christian Living Church
Governor Newsom Enraged After Hearing Churches Singing Down In Whoville

SACRAMENTO, CA—Atop a cold peak near California's capital, Governor Gavin Newsom was enjoying the peace and quiet he'd earned by taking away everything fun in the state. But then, he heard something that made his blood run cold: singing!

According to sources, every Christian in Cali, the tall and the small, was singing without any permits at all. The governor hadn't stopped the Lord's Day from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same!

"What's this? Singing? IN MY STATE?" Newsom cried as he looked down at the small village of Whoville and heard the believers gathered there singing songs, hymns, and spiritual songs. "I don't understand it! I don't! I took away all of their joy and their hope! I said not to sing, I said it, I did! I wasn't joking or pranking, I never kid!"

Then Newsom realized something with fear; he realized he couldn't stop Christians from worshiping here.

Maybe churches were more important than concerts or bars. Maybe they were more than some worship with electric guitars.

But then his heart shrank three sizes, and he ordered the power to be cut in hopes that it would finally stop "that infernal racket."

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